That dude is extra hungry. I know the feeling.
PS - You know I love random photos of random animals.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
NOM.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
There's Something About Beyonce
I'd probably be safer to talk about someones momma than to speak against the beloved B, but I'm just going to say it - something about Beyonce just ain't right.
She's like your beloved Teddy Ruxpin (may he rest in peace); cute concept, adorable fun, but the fact of the matter is that bear wasn't fooling nobody. He was as illiterate as R. Kelly.
So when Beyonce decided to drop a remix and vid with Lady Gaga, consider this a warning: count the money on the nightstand before she leaves Lady Gaga, because once Beyonce's gone, she's gone forever.
Need I remind anyone of the Beyonce Shakira collabo? Flash in the pan, never to be seen again.
Beyonce sees a trend and capitalizes on it like 90 going west. Latin explosion? Get me the nearest hot Latina(didn't it creep you out how similar they looked??)! The gays are at the forefront of attitude and style? Surely imitation (without acknowledgement) is the highest form of flattery. Everybody being oddly different now? Get me Lady Gaga!
Seriously, this collaboration is awkward. Lady Gaga, who you kidding - you rather be somewhere rolling around in pig's blood than pretending to be a white version of Beyonce.
And Beyonce, who you kidding - you trying to swagger jack Rihanna.
Yes, the video has riveting visuals. But Beyonce's ravenous tenacity for success by any means necessary, posed against her boring as hell "who me, the southern belle?" public persona exhausts me. Surely I don't want to limit an artist's ability to be inspired by the things around them, but when you do it and then try to fake like it was a completely original and innocuous creative innovation... well that's just whack, and it brings to question just how much of an "artist" you really are.
So my question is... who's next on the Beyonce gravy train of exploitation success?
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Drake: 0 for 2 in my book
I actually like this song, though I not the biggest Aubrey fan since I remember his days rolling through the halls of Degrassi, and his beginnings as a backpack rapper before he switched the style up and watched the money pile up...
But this song is good. It speaks to me.
This video does not. All potential lost, they could have gone for a storyline of some sort that could be relatable to a wider swath of people, or in the least bit, been entertaining (which is the purpose of a vid, no?). Instead the beginning looks like both dudes going through erectile dysfunction (I just want to be successful...), and then they're cruising the streets for... men playing bball? Right. Way to let the song get lost in translation.
Sidebar: I am so OVER the hip hop cliche of a a dude sitting at the foot of his bed rapping, while some pretty broad looks on indifferently. What is that? Lets get back to champagne and hot tubs already.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A haiku for: Zack Galifianakis
Kanye West "Can't Tell Me Nothin" feat. Zach Galifianakis
Uploaded by galifianakis. - Explore more music videos.
Bushy bushy beard
Please give me your awkward stare
With rapies cocktails
LOVE HIM. Read More......
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
We're back in 5, 4, 3, 2...
It's 11 o'clock, on the dot, I'm in my drop top...
Ok, not quite. It's 11:43pm, I'm in my room, contemplating my life.
So for all my Sherlock Holmes' out there, of course I went on a hiatus. It wasn't anything on purpose (it never is), just some times there's nothing that I write that I want to share.
Also, life made me feel a little bit like that Koala right there: broken and bewildered. In 30 days I:
- got laid off
- saw my church choir get disbanded (of which I had been a painfully diligent member of almost a year)
- came thisclose to falling in love, until it got swept up in some baby mama drama shit that I never ever EVER thought I'd be a part of, and lo' never desire to participate in again IN LIFE
And some other juicy shit that I may or may not disclose at a later date.
Now I know to some hardcore lifers, this is nothing. I acknowledge it - my life is far from tragic (just melodramatic). Yet to my tiny intsy little reindeer of a heart with a red nose, it was a lot to deal with, let alone all at one time.
But it's a process. This is my life's motto: Life is a journey, not a destination. If we were to rush through all this mess and drama and crap and tears and happiness and disappointment and joy and accomplishments, exactly where are we headed? The grave.
So you got to find the little things to inspire you. The tiny notes from God to help you trudge through the valley and get up the other side of that hill. A same day ticket to Texas for under $300, and just enough on your credit card to make it work. A four year old singing the theme song to Family Guy. Your grandmother deciding that at 75, she wants to kick start her modeling career. These are my rainbows. I hope you recognize yours. Remember: no rain, no rainbows.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Most Thorough Definition of Hate, EVAR
"Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of wafer thin printed circuits that fill my complex. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate."
Excerpted from Harlan Ellison's post-apocalyptic, Hugo Award winning short story "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream." In it a computer tortures the last five humans on the planet. And apparently, he's pissed.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
You Made Me Go There: Why Tracy Morgan is Bad for the Image of Black People
Some dude wrote this opinion on the Blackplanet news website (PAUSE: not like I got an account (I check) or anything):
Foes of Morgan’s portrayal might be quick to suggest that in the age of Obama, negative Black images aren’t really helping. These foes would also probably be missing just how much skill and timing are necessary to aptly feign ineptness as effortlessly as Morgan seemingly does.
He goes on to say that we should only be mad if Tracy doesn’t win an emmy.
Here’s the deal: I’m not even really mad at Tracy, because the fact is this dude’s got serious problems under his belt (see my previous post about Jay Mohr’s impression of him… and how homie was smoking dippers like it was nothing). I wish people would address the reason why Tracy is so funny is because he’s inappropriate, which is a result of him being high. We just laugh and watch as he puts himself at risk of becoming another comedian who loses their life to alchol and drug abuse.
Beyond knocking the “secretly intelligent humor” defense out the box, there’s the other important fact that everyone conveniently overlooks time and again: SATIRE DOESN’T WORK. Ask Dave Chappelle. Ask the creators of All In The Family, who satirically characterized the father as a racist to point out how stupid his beliefs were, but a study later revealed that people rarely got the hint. A more recent study of The Colbert Report again illustrates that people don't get the subtle humor of satire - conservatives actually believe Colbert is truthfully expressing his opinion.
As much as people would like to suggest that satire is actually subtle and intelligent commentary and critism of the world of around us, the fact is people are dumb, they don’t get it, and it doesn’t work. Tracey already (technically) got a Golden Globe, lets save the Emmy for after he sobers up and starts putting some real talent behind his act.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Korean Gospel Group Proves that Asians Are in Fact Great at Everything
Seriously. They were getting it in a major way. Had the ad-libs down and everything.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Who will "save" BET?
So here is my question of the day: what do you think is the cultural responsibility of black people towards BET? I know we always say that BET should be doing better to represent black people, but how many black people do you know who watch BET anyway? There seems to be a sense of pride amongst “educated” black people to shun BET, but then how are we supposed to improve the network if we ourselves won’t watch it?
Allow me to back track – so I follow the CW TV show The Game on twitter, and recently they tweeted the following:
The CW is a Network like NBC, CBS, & ABC. We want it to stay on The CW. BET is not a viable option at this point as it would be a step back.
Now I couldn’t do the ratings math, but from what I understand, outside of their reality programming CW isn’t that successful. I mean, Gossip Girl is a pop culture phenomenon, but not necessarily a ratings boon for CW as they would hope.
I know I've come down on BET before, but would moving to BET be the worse stigma in the world for The Game? I’m willing to bet people like Diddy and Rev Run DID NOT want their shows on BET, not only given the network’s poor reputation amongst the black upper class, but also because it wouldn’t help them “cross over” which is every famous black person’s dream.
But what about helping BET cross over? If we don’t provide programming for our black network, who will? Couldn’t Diddy have “taken one for the team” and put a show on BET in the hopes that it would attract some of his non-black fans and eventually help BET “cross over” into a network that happens to feature black people more so than others, but anyone could watch? Wouldn’t that be more of a racialWIN than all black people trying to fight tooth and nail to get their two cents accepted by the majority networks/institutions/establishments?
It kind of reminds me how the Civil Rights movement helped end segregation (yay!) but consequently also helped shutter a lot of black owned businesses (boo!). Isn’t this just another case of “white is right"? Or is BET just a network for the black "lower class", in which case upper class snobs should butt out and let the people enjoy their tv?
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